There is nothing more exciting than playing with myself. In fact, to be able to play with myself is basically stroking my ego until I come to a point where I lose grip of reality. To stand myself up and to release all the pent up thoughts through a paper doll, that's an amazing feeling of accomplishment and fulfillment. That's how much fun I have playing with myself.

Here's how YOU can play with me. Well, a doll sized version of me. Close enough, right?

You'll need: A pair of scissors, a color printer, a lot of free time and not much dignity. You are playing with a paper doll of me after all.

Step 1: Download the blog header from this link here: http://bit.ly/19P8BXs. You can go onto the Internet and find a dress or something to put on me too. Y'know, if you're into crossdressing or cosplay.

Step 2: Print out your pictures, preferably in color. Because while I am colorblind, I am nothing without color.


Step 3: Cut out all the individual pieces carefully. Make sure you don't accidentally cut off my head, or leave me with a tear on my arm. Also make sure that you cut out all the pieces of clothing, because I prefer to be clothed than naked. Unless you're into that kind of kinky thing, in which case, please email me.

Note: If you are a little kid, please remember to ask your parents to help you. Also, tell them that they really need to find you new hobbies.


Step 4: Make sure you have cut out everything you need. There are plenty of small pieces and children below the age of 10 should not ever come close to even touching this paper doll. They won't choke, but it's gonna leave them with a traumatized future.

It should look something like this:



Step 5: With the use of an adhesive (stick glue or magic), carefully paste the pieces of clothing onto the semi-naked me. Don't worry if anything is ill-fitting. It only serves to give you a sense of reality.



Step 6: Time to show off your brand new Joel Wong Running Man paper doll to all your friends and family members. Warning: They may not want to ever keep in contact with you ever again. Caution is advised.


Of course, you can also opt to play with me in a different way. Like here, I have myself staring at a picture of me. If vanity had a face, it would be manifested in this picture.


And here, I have myself reading my blog, which has multiple pictures of me. I should be locked up for crimes against the ego.


Anyway, have fun making and playing with me. The Joel Wong paper doll promises you hours and hours of fun, which is inclusive of the hours and hours you took to make the doll. Sorry people, no refunds.

Cheerios! 

But here's the thing about getting fat. You don't know you're getting fat until you're already fat. Sure, a few passing remarks by the people who see you often; "Wow looking rounder these days", "Someone's been having a very itchy mouth lately", "Holy smackerel! you're fat now!", but these are comments that a person who doesn't know what it's like to gain weight will never understand.

You know, just like me.

I've never believed in karma. Now, it's difficult to not believe in the concept. I've made fun of my friends plenty in the past; making fun of their weight, their fear of eating too much, their worry about getting "fat". I've laughed the hardest at people who had the most pained expressions when faced with a moist chocolate cake. I've stuffed my mouth full in front of friends who opted for the salad over the juicy piece of steak. I've asked people, with an almost haughty tone of voice, "What is fats?"