5 Things People Say About Sungai Long
20:52:00
A frequent topic of conversation that pops up whenever I meet new people is "Where do you stay?". My momma told me never to talk to strangers, but when the stranger is talking to me and is female, all my inhibitions usually melt away. I digress.
I will always answer truthfully, because it's no shame to admit where I stay. "Sungai Long," I reply cheerfully. That's when people will respond in one of these 5 ways.
#5 Wow, that's far.
Most of the time, an unfamiliar sounding place MUST be very far, because, and I quote an actual person, "I've never heard of it before". Yeah, it's pretty out of the way, but it's not Timbuktu. Get your Geography straight. And also...
I will always answer truthfully, because it's no shame to admit where I stay. "Sungai Long," I reply cheerfully. That's when people will respond in one of these 5 ways.
#5 Wow, that's far.
Most of the time, an unfamiliar sounding place MUST be very far, because, and I quote an actual person, "I've never heard of it before". Yeah, it's pretty out of the way, but it's not Timbuktu. Get your Geography straight. And also...
#4 But where exactly is Sg. Long?
...is the follow up question. Most people will pretend to know where that is, a knowing look on their faces, "Oh isn't that near..." before proceeding to name a place at least a thousand kilometers away from Sungai Long.
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And it will be followed up with the question above. In this day and age of technology, no one should be asking where anything is anymore. There's Google Maps, Waze, and a whole lot of other knockoff GPS systems which can let you know exactly where your dog took a dump.
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Right here.
#3 Wow, you live by a long river (sungai long)?
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Shown: An actual long river.
Surprisingly, I get this from a lot of people. It was pretty darn funny the first time someone suggested it, but after 14 years of getting the same damn thing over and over again, it starts to get on your nerves. I am here to once and for all answer this question:
There is no freaking river flowing through Sungai Long, long or short. If the names of places were taken literally, please tell me what this place would have?
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I rest my case.
#2 Isn't it very jam to and from Sungai Long?
Yes it is. But then again, isn't it very jam from anywhere in KL? The Klang Valley is like the Jam Central of the world.
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Malaysians thrive on getting stuck in the jam for days and days on end, but complain when they seemingly have to drive a little bit out of their way to reach my house (you know who you are, douche).
#1 What's there in Sungai Long?
There's really nothing much in Sungai Long. To be perfectly honest, unless you are willing to drive all the way to Sungai Long for a plate of generic wan tan mee, there is pretty much no other reason you would come to Sungai Long at all.
Oh, or unless you're a UTAR student. I hear they're opening up a pretty big campus soon.
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Anyone from Sungai Long here? HOLLA ME UP and we'll go for that generic wan tan mee absolutely no one is talking about. At least it'll be better than this place, for sure.
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Cheerios!
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