I'm currently in a stage in my life where I wake up in the afternoons and head straight to my laptop to scroll through Facebook for the entire day. It's that period of time when one is transitioning between graduating from university and actively looking for a job; a time when everything seems to happen but nothing is happening. Does that last sentence make sense? You're confused? That's precisely how I'm feeling right now.

I've been reading up a lot of depression lately (most of my Facebook friends need help), which got me a bit down (pardon the pun) just thinking about it. And whenever I'm down, I tend to float down the 5 Stages of Grief. It's my coping mechanism, though the past few times hasn't exactly helped me cope in any useful way.

I really need to do something. Or do I?

Writing this post a month into my unemployment instead of actively looking for a job is one of the signs that I'm living in a constant state of denial. Every morning I wake up and tell myself that I don't need a job yet, and tomorrow is another day to find work. This has already been happening for a month, and I'm still telling myself that I don't need a job yet because I'm on a break. I'M ON A BREAK! LAY OFF, OKAY?

Some days, I wake up feeling grumpier than usual. As I shove food into my mouth, I curse my rotten luck to not be at work and earning money to pay for the food I am shoving into my mouth. And then I look at myself in the mirror and wonder WHY THE HECK ARE PEOPLE NOT HIRING ME TO DO STUFF FOR THEM. I HAVE QUALIFICATIONS DAMN IT! I'M QUALIFIED TO DO STUFF I REALLY AM SO SERIOUSLY GET DOWN TO BUSINESS AND LET ME DO MY BUSINESS AT YOUR BUSINESS!!! Please?

I'll be honest here. I have no bargaining chips to use for getting that interview, other than my ridiculously handsome face I'm kidding myself. But, I do make offers with myself all the time, none of which I think will be applicable to this scenario here. "Hey company I'm interested in, I'm pretty good looking. Wanna hire me to do stuff for you?" Now, my best bargaining chip is pity, so pleaaaase, PLEASE! Give me a job! I need a job. Job...

A great man once said that the breaking point doesn't matter once you've gone past it. I've not only gone past the breaking point, I've trampled on its wife and children as I freefall down the hole of depression. I'm like Alice, except I'm not a girl and I'm about to die from starvation. Y'know, typical complaints of the unemployed. Which I am. And will probably be for a long time. Oh no...

Yep.

Cheerios, I guess?